Early American Spam

We know our history at Message Partners, and as the history of spam is not a long one, that's pretty easy for us to do. But what if Spam existed pert near forever, even during the founding of America. Hear Ye Hear Ye Hear Ye!!! Some examples follow:

To: GW@MtVernon.com
Subject: Got Teeth?
Here at Choppers Inc., the tooth specialists, we have many new and revolutionary replacement ideas for your old wooden teeth. Our newest invention is teeth made from baked cow dung, which is very cheap, and eliminates most of the smell. But it sure beats lip splinters. Click here.

To: Madison@WoodCattage.com
Subject: Ye Olde Sex Organ...
Would you like your unit to look huge. Just visit our website and buy our organ enlarger then, when you get together with your lady-friend, just have her put on the special spectacles and watch her recoil in horror.

To: PaulRevere@DamnedBritish.com
Subject: Horse Security
Did you know horse thievery and horse jacking are on the rise all over the 13 colonies. With our saddle security lock, absolutely no one can get on your horse or get the saddle off without your permission. And the giant wooden bar that stretches across most main streets easily folds up and fits in a saddlebag.

To: DearestDaniel@PlymouthBoulder.com
Subject: You could be rich
Hello Daniel. I am Steve Stevo, and I am personal assistant to the King of Canada. While you may think Canada has no King, how wrong you are. We need you to send us some money so we can find and unbury great riches, which we will split 70/45 with you (authors note: this is early America, where they didn't have a real good fix on percentages).