Fourth of July Spam

Well, it's coming up on the 4th of July, and at Message Partners, what would be a better occasion than to figure out some funny (hopefully) ways spammers could spam us Americans for the 4th. And away we go:

To: MichaelBolton@HasBeen.com
Subject: Rockets Red Glare
Remember when you forgot the words to the National Anthem? Well fear no more, just click here and buy our "Star Spangled Banner" contact lenses, and never stumble or forget the words again.

To: Sparklers@FireJerks.com
Subject: Sparklers
Are fireworks illegal in your area except for boring sparklers? At Firejerks we have 10, 20, 50 foot sparklers that will light up the entire night sky for hours. Just make sure everyone is dressed in fire proof clothes. Click here.

To: FirecrackerJoe@ThomasFamily.com
Subject: Like Watching Fireworks Accidents?
So do we. So when you light off all your fireworks this year, make sure you get it all on tape, and send any mishaps to the following link _____.

To: GeorgeWashington@NewCountry.com
Hello George. It has recently come to our attention that you are looking to sign and adopt the Declaration of Independence in early July. May we suggest the 2nd of July, or the 3rd of July, or even 5th of July. You see, we own the web addresses for those dates, and we will be willing to split any profits realized by those exclusive websites. Just don't sign it on the 4th of July, as that site is owned by someone named John Hancock.

To: Dan@Creightonville.com
Subject: Hate A Parade
Do you hate parades? All the noise and commotion. Well just click on the following link, and join our I-hate-a-parade Parade. Come on, it'll be fun.