You Might Be a Spammer If...

In deference to Jeff Foxworthy, and his funny series of "You Might Be a Redneck" jokes, I am starting a new series, all about spammers. So, without further ado...

You Might Be a Spammer If...

You feel perfectly fine, but still wonder if there's a pill you can take.

You've lost tons of money on a stock that is only falling further, but you tell your friends to buy the stock in the hope it goes up a little before you dump it.

Someone tells you to "Stop it," but you hear "a million times more."

You sweep floors at the local High School, but tell everyone you were the King of Siam even though you don't know were Siam is and don't even speak Siamian.

You take Viagra just for watching a PG-13 film.

You're sure you misplaced a million dollars somewhere, and if only someone would give you a few thousand dollars you might be able to locate it.

You wish they made Valentine's Day Cards that said: I have a loving partner but he is working 16 hours a day and we have sex only once a week. So how about it big boy???

You are envious of autistic people because they get to say and do whatever they want.