Taunting Spam VIII

At Message Partners, we work and we work to stamp out spam, but still the odd one or two squeak through our multi-layered defenses, only then to be subject to my teasing and ridicule. I almost feel sorry for the spam. Almost.

So I received the following spam:

re: Verification procedure. Please read it carefully !!

Safeguarding your Privacy

Dear Customer, this is the last notification.
Please read it carefully.

- Due to recent account takeovers and unauthorized listings, Capital One is requesting a new account verification procedure. From time to time, randomly selected accounts are placed under an advanced updating process based on merchant accounts/bank relations and on-file credit cards.
Capital One may also request in an email message scanned/faxed copies of one or more photo ID's. Your account confirmation may go wrong if your credit card/bank account has expired, or if you have changed/replaced your credit card without letting us know about the change.

* Your account is not suspended, but if in 36 hours after you receive this message your account is not confirmed we reserve the right to terminate your Capital One subscription.

- If you received this notice and you are not an authorized Capital One account holder, please be aware that it is in violation of Capital One policy to represent oneself as an Capital One user. Such action may also be in violation of local, national, and/or international law.

Remember: We won't require your ATM PIN number for this operation !!

To begin unlocking your Capital One account please click the link below:

(Capital One will never ask for your ATM/PIN)
If we don't receive your account verification within 36 hours from you, we will further lock down your account untill we will be able to contact you by e-mail or phone.

Taunt Begins:

You know, I was all ready to ignore your phishing email until, well, until the very beginning, when you just had to say READ CAREFULLY.

Do you really want my carefully scrutiny, Mr. Phisherman.

First of all, while I've seen a Capital One commercial or two, I do not have a Capital One account. Perhaps you should have said, if you do not have a capital account, please get one, then assume that it has been compromised, then give us all your financial information. That would be sort of like preemptive phishing, a whole new genre.

Then you say you may request copies of picture IDs and all, only to mention, You're account verification may go wrong if anything is out-of-date. Don't you mean that your phishing scam MAY GO WRONG if anything is out-of-date. I mean, geez, I'm just reading carefully here.

And thank god you won't require my pin number for this operation. Usually only Doctors ask for that, and that's when the operation is really major.

And you also say it is a VIOLATION of policy to represent oneself as a Capital One user. But yet you have no problem at all falsely representing yourself as Capital One. I mean, jeesh, talking about the pot calling the kettle stupid.