Pirate Spam

Even though we generally have our eye on keeping email safe at Message Partners, we also notice larger trends, such as the Pirates of the Caribbean pictures, which made us think: what would Pirate Spam look like.

To: PegLegPete@gmail.com
Subject: LJS
Did you know Long John Silver was once known as Stubby John Silver. If you want to see what pills he took to get long, just click here.

To: Arrrrggggh@Scallywag.com
Subject: Pirates of Alaska
Everyone knows that pirates hate the cold weather even more than a polite parrot. But if you've been on the ocean in the last decade you've seen them getting warmer. So join the first pirate ship to set sail for the balmy artic sea.

To: RedBeardRobert@hotmail.com
Subject: Got a Cracker?
Polly wants a cracker. And Polly can be a woman, a man, heck, even a parrot, just as long as you've got 300 crackers if you want to spend the whole night. Click here.

To: BuccaneerBart@PirateSwag.com
Subject: Anti-Piracy
I want to apologize to every one of you scurvy bastards who showed up in your eye-patches and peg-legs to demonstrate against the recent anti-piracy convention held at the Hyatt in Orlando. Who knew they meant copying songs? And what the hell is an MP3 anyway? I wouldn't want to ride on any ship with that name.

To: CaptainCrook@Piracy4Dummies.com
Subject: Google Maps
Have you seen Google Maps, where you can access satellite photos, street level-views, you name it. Did you know they also have another new feature called Google Treature Maps. Click on Google Treasure Maps and find the gold 'X' to see where the treasure is buried. To learn more just click here.

To: EyePatchEric@ShipShape.com
Subject: High-Tech Pirate
Here at Post Modern Pirate, we have developed a number of very useful tools that a modern pirate might need. From an eye-patch that can peer through the thickest fog, to a peg leg with three gyroscoops that won't let you fall over no matter how much booze you've swilled, to special pirate boots that always keep you fastened to the plank. Just click here.