Renaissance Spam

At Message Partners, our platform is something of a renaissance for System Administrators, as our all-in-one email security solution also includes many essential email tools , so instead of spending countless hours scripting and patching various email tools, with our Message Processing Platform, all the tools are already at your fingertips. With that in mind, what would spam look like during the renaissance? It follows:

To: LeSteve@firemail.com
We have finally figured out how to realistically depict the human figure. You know what that means! Get your female nudes by clicking here.

To: Deanardo@universewideweb.com
Subject: Important New Discovery
Did you know they have proven that the Earth revolves around the sun. You had better purchase our patented Earth Fastener to keep you fastened to the earth and stop you from getting tossed into the cosmos.

To: MarkusArelious@HaYoo.com
Subject: Printing Press
We just invented the printing press. What is a printing press, you ask? We can press the wrinkles out of your pants, your shirts, even your undergarments. Click here.

To: MonaSuzanne@Geemail.com
Subject: Your Career
Not rising fast enough in your job? Do you feel like you have all the skills to be at the top, but the bosses keep holding you back. Come to Machiavelli.com, where we have some very new and interesting ideas on how to get ahead.

To: John1@Popespace.com
Subject: The Age of Reason
Did you know it's the age of reason? What more reason do you need to click here.

To: Leonardo@sunking.com
Subject: The Plague
Stevenson the Barber, who also specializes in bloodletting and amputation, has found the best way to avoid the Black Plague is to wear black stockings over your head. Sure, you'll look silly, but at least you'll be alive. Buy them here.

To: Bobalengelo@Nosebook.com
Subject: Mona Lisa Gone Wild
Ever wonder what Mona Lisa does when she goes out? Get your very accurate drawings of Mona Lisa out partying with Leo Da Vinci and his crew right here.