James Bond Spam

At Message Partners, in a recent lull in the spam battles, the boss and I brainstormed on what James Bond's spam in-box might look like. It follows.

To: double0seven@hotmail.com
re: Bullet-proof your girlfriend
Do your lady friend have a habit of dying off. Well with this easy spray, a quick spray of the loved ones in your life will make them bullet-proof for up to five hours. The spray is neither water proof or flame-thrower proof.

To: BondJamesBond@Gmail.com
re: Permanent Name Tags
Are you tired of saying your name over and over again. Just click right here and get these new, near permanent name tags that proudly says your name right on your fashionable lapel. Name tags are not bullet-proof, water-proof, flame-thrower proof...

To: OhJames@MI6.com
re: Tired of Lasting All Night
Tired of totally satisfying your lady friends and looking for a good night's sleep. Well take these pills and be a total dud in bed.

To: ShakenNotStired@PartySpies.com
re: Build Your Own Volcano
Want to take over the world, but can't find the right lair to plot your world domination in? Click here and with these easy-to-follow instructions, and a few million dollars, we will help you find and build the perfect volcano to bring the world to its knees.