Fourth of July Spam

Well, it's coming up on the 4th of July, and at Message Partners, what would be a better occasion than to figure out some funny (hopefully) ways spammers could spam us Americans for the 4th. And away we go:

To: MichaelBolton@HasBeen.com
Subject: Rockets Red Glare
Remember when you forgot the words to the National Anthem? Well fear no more, just click here and buy our "Star Spangled Banner" contact lenses, and never stumble or forget the words again.

To: Sparklers@FireJerks.com
Subject: Sparklers
Are fireworks illegal in your area except for boring sparklers? At Firejerks we have 10, 20, 50 foot sparklers that will light up the entire night sky for hours. Just make sure everyone is dressed in fire proof clothes. Click here.

To: FirecrackerJoe@ThomasFamily.com
Subject: Like Watching Fireworks Accidents?
So do we. So when you light off all your fireworks this year, make sure you get it all on tape, and send any mishaps to the following link _____.

To: GeorgeWashington@NewCountry.com
Hello George. It has recently come to our attention that you are looking to sign and adopt the Declaration of Independence in early July. May we suggest the 2nd of July, or the 3rd of July, or even 5th of July. You see, we own the web addresses for those dates, and we will be willing to split any profits realized by those exclusive websites. Just don't sign it on the 4th of July, as that site is owned by someone named John Hancock.

To: Dan@Creightonville.com
Subject: Hate A Parade
Do you hate parades? All the noise and commotion. Well just click on the following link, and join our I-hate-a-parade Parade. Come on, it'll be fun.

Taunting Spam XIII

Due to popular demand, Taunting Spam is back! Haven't done one in awhile, and spam just keeps rushing the barricades we improve by the day at Message Partners. So, for all of those who have to click through a mountain of spam to get to their legitimate email, here goes:

I received the following spam:

Subject: it`s kellie

Hi

My name is kellie. I found your email on that dating site.
I also love sex on the side. I have a loving partner but he is working 16 hours a day and we have sex only once a week :( If you are interested and wanna see my pictures just email me at XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Don`t reply, use the email above (my boyfriend doesn`t know about that email!)

Taunt begins: Hey there kellie. I hope this taunt finds you not so great, Kellie.

So you found my email on that dating site. I think I know the site you're referring to...it's that really high-end Studs for Hire site, right, and as it says on the site, to email any of the studes on the site, you must pay them 1 million dollars. So I can expect the 1 million in the mail soon, right?

And you say you love sex on the side. Sex on the side, huh? What about sex on your back, or sex on top. Sex on the side has always struck me a awkward and a good way to poke out an eye.

Also, about seeing your pictures. I don't know if you know this, but there are a lot of pictures of naked woman on the net, and they don't require an email at all. I mean, you can't really surf the internet anymore without running into a naked lady.

Now if you were actually dressed, and you actually treated your hard working man right, that I would like to see. Oh well...

Spam During the American Revolution

At Message Partners, we are very aware of the not-so-long-history of spam. But what if spam had existed through the centuries. For example, what if there were spam during the revolutionary war. A few examples follow:

To: Jeremiah@earlyamerican.com
Subject: 1 if by land, 2 if by sea, 3 if by Suzie
Yes, 3 if by Suzie, so click right here and Suzie will make you forget there is a war going on at all.

To: Bostonian@anti-redcoat.com
Subject: Got Tea?
Heard you had a little tea party over taxes. Go to taxfreetea.com, and forget about paying those high British taxes altogether.

To: NewYorkMan@NewYorker.com
Subject: Beads for Bucks
You know they bought Manhattan for 24 dollars worth of beads? You know what that means? If you plan on being a landowner today, you need beads, not useless currency, so get your beads here, and buy up the whole East Coast.

To: MyFellowAmerican@englandsucks.com
Subject: Redcoat Antics
Download the first video and watch a drunken redcoat forget which end of the musket fires out from. The second video, we prank a redcoat into thinking he has a letter from the king telling him to surrender. It's hilarious, and watch it to the end when he realizes he's being pranked.